WLC #1

Alright - 10 minutes of "thoughtfulness" starting now.

10 minutes is longer than you think when it comes to something like this. Good challenge, guys. Good challenge.

So what do I want out of this whole thing? I want that feeling I had for that fleeting week back in October. That "Oh, THIS is what all of the exercise and nutrition nuts talk about when they say they have more energy and feel better, etc. etc. If I can just hold the memory of that moment in my head when I want pizza or am too lazy to cook something, this will be easier.

Laying in bed this morning, thinking about the daunting task of getting up and figuring out what to eat for breakfast when we haven't gone shopping I found myself comparing it to a WOD. I just need to dig deep, because really, I can do this. It's just going to take a little more effort than I'm used to. But that's the point, right?

Same thing goes for doing this without a team to cheer me on. It's not about competing, it's not about keeping up with everyone else, or disappointing anyone - it's about me. Which is a hard thing for me to come to terms with, now that I think about it. And even more reason why I should do it. Look at that little gem of a lesson, and only 5 minutes into the 10!

Alright - so let's take a second to think about what I want to accomplish on this challenge:

• I'd like to lose more weight
• I'd like to improve my CrossFit game. Like, a lot. 
• I'd like to feel better
• I'd really like to become one of those people who gets up early, spends some time doing something like this, and then gets ready - and isn't late. 
• **This has been a goal for so long. Time to make it happen. 
• I'd like to learn more about how my body works. Starting to exercise and get in shape has taught me so much in terms of what I'm capable of, both mentally and physically. Let's do more of that. 

Ok - so now I have to go on a tangent about CrossFit. Because, really, who the frick ever knew I'd be someone with goals like getting a pull up, or a handstand, or anything regarding physicality? Sure as heck not me. I started going because it was working for Wife, and because I didn't know what the hell she was talking about half the time. And, let's face it, because I knew that I was going to be left out if I didn't - but then something awesome happened. My biceps started getting bigger, and I stopped breathing heavy walking up the hill at work, and thinking about taking the stairs. It's really that whole thing about not know what you're capable of until you try. 'Cause you don't. I never would have thought I'd be capable of 14.5 - but I did it. And I'll do it again, in less time, with some work. Which I'm totally excited about doing. 

SO if I'm thinking about the things I listed up there in terms of a WOD, I know that I can do them. I'll do them on my own time, with some scaling and some breaks - but I can do them. I just have to remember that. 

And now it's time to stir the first WLC breakfast. 10 minutes = done.

Relief!

December has been hell on my body, which is no different from anyone else in or around the Christmas celebrating world. After a slow start to the new year: a cold, some hold-over events, etc., today is finally the day that I'm well enough and have made the time to return to CrossFit and to eating like I know I should. There are so many emotions traditionally tied in with the first day of a new diet/new fitness routine/new something - excitement, fear, grief at the loss of your favorite snack. But today the most glaring is relief.

I am relieved to be done with guilt over eating something that I know will hurt my body. Not in the "I'll be fat and no one will love me" body-shaming way - but in the "I know that I am making a bad decision" way. (P.S. WHY!?) I'm relieved to have no longer given myself the leeway to make those bad decisions. We're done!

I am relieved to be back on the road to not feeling bloated and swollen. My fingers are still slightly sticky from last night's final "treat", my pants aren't as loose as they were a month ago, but that "blah" feeling is starting to fade. I can still recall the crazy days when I'd worked out enough, drank enough water, and eaten well - and I'm excited for another one of those days to happen soon! For as long as I can remember I've had these moments of envisioning "that magical time in the future where I'll finally get my shit together and get healthy". That "moment" was somewhere in the future for like 25 years. Now that I'm actually on the other side of one of those magical "moments", I'm relieved to be on my way again!

Story morsel

The door to the tomb was easier to move this time, the height of a couple of years giving her the leverage to open it on her own. She pressed the cold stone as far as it would go and the stairway was presented to her. That familiar smell of air gone bad drifted past her into the rest of the church, and for a moment she was jealous of its ability to escape. Taking each stair carefully, she began to descend into the darkness, silently promising the flashlight fresh batteries and weekly polishes from this day forward if it would only keep shining for her. She didn’t remember it being this dark. By the time it occurred to her to count the stairs she had no idea how far she’d gone and she started to panic that she might reach the end and trip on a phantom stair – and moments later she was on the floor.

The flashlight betrayed her and rolled across the floor, its light going out as if to signify the object’s refusal of her promised care. Once the light had gone out, the smell in the tomb rushed in to take the lights place. It attacked her nose and made her gasp for more air, coughing and sputtering. She put her hands on the floor to regain her balance - at least gravity was still on her side. Moving her hands along the cold stone, she started to inch her way in what she thought was the right direction. She coughed in an effort to expel just a bit more of that horrible stench, and listened to the sound of her own breath bounce around the tiny room.

“Flashlight?” She called to the callous thing hoping in vain that it would answer. The sound of metal scraping across stone was her only answer.

"Justice"

I am trying to calm down, I'm trying not to respond in anger - but I am disgusted. This video was sent to me a couple of days ago. It's a bunch of teenagers asking that we vote "to uphold the constitution". To do it for them because they don't have a voice (sounds awesome, yeah?). Separation of church and state? Great! Protection of freedom and liberty? Great! Maintaining history? Great!!

Sounds awesome, yeah? Not like you don't know something bad is coming:

Please take note at about the 1:50 mark, where a TEENAGER implores us to vote for politicians who will protect his right to own a gun. I'm sorry, but how is it possibly good and just and okay to film a video wherein a CHILD speaks for gun rights!? Rarely do I have such visceral reactions to things like this. If it hadn't been for Columbine, or Virginia Tech, or any of the other multitude of school shootings, I probably wouldn't have had such a reaction. But those things happened, and they happened because a CHILD got their hands on a GUN.

Yeah, I get it - the kid in this video can't legally buy a gun at his age. Didn't stop those other kids, did it? I'm not even saying that I disagree with the 2nd Amendment (okay, I do). Point is, no child should be a part of selling gun rights. Not a 5-year old, not an 18-year old. NO.

(And I'm not going to into the way in which he said it, as if he were picturing the military flag of his army flying high even as he spoke. Or later as he expressed the need for "a strong military.")

So that's the initial reaction. Then I found their website, im2moro and the fun really began (intentionally un-capitalized; apparently the "one US language" they speak of in the video doesn't include proper grammar). Anyway, take a look: http://im2moro.org/ (Go ahead, look. I'll wait)

And you're back! Confused!? Seemed pretty clear from the video that they had a distinct political lean, yeah? Yet strangely, nowhere on im2moro.org does it self-identify as Right-leaning, or conservative, or even Tea Party. Nothing. In fact, it specifically claims to be none of the above. Just a bunch of harmless ol' independent thinkers... nothing to see... unless you're an impressionable teen! In that case come here little girl I've got some racist, elitist candy just for you.

Visitors are presented with this jumbled mix of "Liberty and Freedom for all - yeah!" and "Let's talk about how politicians are misbehaving and not getting along". During my first reading, I found myself questioning my initial reaction; after all, they were talking about freedom and liberty and shady politicians - that's stuff I can get behind. But then, I found this supposedly unbiased coverage of the ruling in Pennsylvania regarding voter ID laws or this refreshingly "unbiased" blog post about the first presidential debate.

Pretty clearly a conservative machine; an organization targeting teens and young people in not-quite truthful ways, using confusing messages of freedom and justice to pass off conservative beliefs as moderate, as independent. Not okay, even if it was started by a teen. Because the bottom line is this: If you can't tell your perspective members that you have a clear slant, you are lying. Plain and simple.

"We don't think of ourselves as "Republicans," "Democrats" or "Libertarians." We're Americans, independent thinkers who believe in the framework of ideals that have formed and guided this great nation for over 200 years."

(http://im2moro.org/what-is-im2moro, emphasis mine)

Independent thinkers... as long as that thinking is pro-life, pro-religion, pro-gun. They're playing on our base fears, exploiting children to persuade other children to support their cause and lying about the whole thing by calling themselves "independent thinkers".

But wait! There's still more!! Let's discuss, just for a minute, their section on "Justice," in which they link to King's Letter from Birmingham Jail. (They've read that document, right!? They actually know what he stood for, right? Religious or not, the man fought for equality, the man fought against poverty - he did not fight for GUN RIGHTS).

The thing is, having a slant is fine - great even. Conservative youth organization? Great! You go kids! Fight the fight! But be honest about what you are. Don't create some professionally produced website with "hip" graphics and a text message name and quote Martin Luther King without being honest about what you really stand for.

What they're doing isn't fighting the good fight, it isn't bringing awareness to important issues of today - it's building an army through deceit and lies, and playing on the fears of CHILDREN. The only consolation is that they only have 614 Facebook likes - which for a youth based organization isn't great. However, the video is being emailed around, they're reaching people. And making some of them, like me, cry in the process.

Embryo OR Homo!

Let's play a new game! It's called Embryo or Homo! I'll post a quote and you guess if it refers to the rights of an embryo or a homo! Here goes:

"Yet, identifying who “qualifies” as a human being has historically proved to be more difficult than the above examples suggest. Twice in the past the U.S. Supreme Court—charged with being the guardian of rights—has failed so drastically in making this crucial determination that it “disqualified” a whole category of human beings, with profoundly tragic results." 

(He goes on to say that Roe v. Wade was an "identical mistake" to Dred Scott v. Sandford, which ruled that the constitution didn't apply to African Americans). 

Or this one:

"All conservatives should find it easy to agree that government must uphold every person’s right to make choices regarding their lives and that every person’s right to live must be secured before he or she can exercise that right of choice."

Or how about this one:
"Conservatives can bridge the gap on issues of life and choice by building on the solid rock of natural rights, which belong, not just to some, but to all human beings."

All quotes from:
The Cause of Life Can’t be Severed from the Cause of Freedom

40 WORDS FOR SNOW
THE PANOPTICON
THE TEXTURE OF VERBS
DIGGING DITCHES ON MARS
FISTICUFFS AND PARASOLS

The best you can hope for is to be chased backstage by your audience.

Bolero (classical music riots)

Last Night the Moon Came (poem and song)

Do something with: Unpredictable behavior of electrons